So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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