Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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