Fuck appropriateness.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize