Where did you get a picture of my penis
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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