I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
