brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
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you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
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then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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