I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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