when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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