Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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