awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
