I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize