Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
