we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
