Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
