I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I FOUND THE LEGS
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
