last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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