Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Will exercising make me less horny?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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