pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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