Screwed.edu
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
