OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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