ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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