i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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