DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am one with the molecules
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
