Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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