We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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