Who did Billy Mays play for?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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