At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
