Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i would punch a child for taco bell
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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