i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
