Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
