shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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