Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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