im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
