apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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