Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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