I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
