# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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