We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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