Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
