return my video game
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
