She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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