why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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