I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
