umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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