whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's official drugs can't kill me
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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