awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
