her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
