What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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