I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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