I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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