but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
