You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
