just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize