my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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