OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
