Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
