Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
