How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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