someone get that fucking seahorse.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
ok first of all what the fuck
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
