yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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