sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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