I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Drake has all the answers
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
