he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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