you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My vagina is officially offended.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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