barbara walters just said penis...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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