I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
