Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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