Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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