she was so not down for the gang bang
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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