He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
