Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
